Hard-up Bills fans and their team fail again to get to Tom Brady

Mike Petraglia
October 30, 2016 - 5:59 pm

Tom Brady and the Patriots ran away from the Bills again Sunday. (Timothy T. Ludwig/USA Today Sports)

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. - No wonder Bills fans have resorted to throwing sex toys on the field.

They are that hard up to beat Tom Brady and the Patriots.

Their team tried again Sunday in a game when the Patriots actually had their regular starting quarterback and failed in ugly and sometimes hilarious fashion.

Brady smacked the Bills and their fans with four touchdown passes and LeGarrette Blount punched in another touchdown in a 41-25 win at New Era Field.

It got so bad that a frustrated fan threw a phallus onto the field at the Bills 1 after Chris Hogan made a catch on the Bills' 3 in the third quarter. Nope, they weren't celebrating homegrown Rob Gronkowski's 69th career touchdown.

Asked about the flying, ahem, marital aid that was flung onto the field in front of Hogan, Gronk didn't miss a beat.

"Yeah, that was for the Bills," he smiled in the ultimate drop-the-mic performance at his postgame presser.

An anonymous Patriot player chirped, "That's Bills Mafia for you!"

"Ah, I think I did out of the corner of my eye but I really wasn't paying attention to that," Hogan sheepishly grinned.

The only thing missing Sunday was Wes Welker making some foot joke on the opposite sideline from Rex Ryan. Welker would've loved this game.

There should a sympathetic part of every Patriots fan that feels for their counterparts. As long as Tom Brady is the quarterback and Bill Belichick is the coach, the Bills have no chance.

In front of 70,442 souls who came out in the drizzle and wind Sunday, the dynamic duo did everything they could to avenge their only loss this season.

There was little chance that the Patriots would be swept in a season series for the first time since 2000. And from the moment that Tyrod Taylor overthrew Reggie Bush in the end zone from six yards out, this game was over.

The Bills settled for a 23-yard Dan Carpenter field goal. Even Ryan can tell you that first-quarter field goals will never, ever beat Brady.

Sure, there were moments when it got close on the scoreboard, like 14-10 in the second quarter or 31-17 midway through the third. But it was all window dressing. Brady again marched the Patriots down the field on a drive that featured a 15-yard gallop by the Clydesdale himself.

LeGarrette Blount capped it off with a one-yard plunge and the Patriots led, 38-17. When Tyrod Taylor's fourth-down pass fell incomplete to open the fourth quarter, fans began leaving.

No wonder the Bills fans are resorting to throwing dildos. Anything to spice up a boring, non-responsive rivalry, right?

They were pretty much conceding that playing the Patriots sucks. Yep, the Bills are pretty hard up for anything to stop the Patriots at this point.

You come into these games wondering, almost wishing, for the opponent to be a fair match. You think of ways that the Patriots could be challenged and face true adversity.

It almost never happens.

The abuse of Bills fans by Tom Brady will never end.

The Bills naturally tried to return fire. Early on, they succeeded, pounding Brady several times when he was on the move or planting to throw. But by the time the fourth quarter rolled around and the game was already over, Shaq Lawson hit Brady, taking two steps after Brady had already released the ball on a deep pass for Chris Hogan.

The Patriots did everything to remind the Bills and their loyally miserable fans who have suffered through dreck the last 16 years that the 16-0 game back on Oct. 2 did not involve No. 12 for the Patriots.

Maybe in 2017, the Bills will find a way to spice things up with the Patriots in the AFC East.