Enough About Me - Ep. 62: Kirk reflects on the passing of his parents

WEEI Podcasts
Thursday, July 6th

Kirk Minihane's parents both passed away within the last two months. On this episode Kirk reflects on his relationship with his parents and how their deaths have impacted him so far. Kirk is sad, angry, confused, and hurt. You will hear a man on the edge who is trying to work through the most difficult period of his life.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

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Not be back with Jerry on Monday that he Monday July 10 teachers' union as well known for the whole week after that for a while the rest summer. Com. But I felt like talking about my mom and dad a little bit I did this after my dad passed. In studio team to podcast. And now my mom's gone too she died down. Hasn't taping us about a week and a half ago. It got exactly seven weeks apart each other Thursday my dad died. Almost eleven man my mom died just before noon. My dad had multiple myeloma a moment pancreatic cancer its people was in the shown on my mom. Really suffered she really struggled the last few weeks. In just a weird time. It's hard to wrap your head around it. And I'm in the place that they loved him as much as anywhere and I'm happy to be here. But you can't shake things you know you feel like you're surrounded by ghosts. It's their place. In the last night watch the fireworks the fourth of July or couples or friends of my parents around. I just thought it's just really spectacularly unfair it just fuels so unfair. That they don't get to do this. All things weird it's weird. So partially from from my senate still can't wrap my head around it. Most of the time they're good days shorten you've been doing good moments in new if you'd you'd like Koh I Stan but. I can't shake it I just cannot shake it the other day I was driving around. Here look I mean really most of the time. So mom passed them. I was driving. The boat couple miles outside of him that night I saw this this little bakery that was open. Where that that was there. In the last month there was my daughter Kate and my parents. With the Forbes with a great breakfast and it was fun my mom and dad feel pretty good that day. Terrible sick terrible feel pretty good pulled up and it made me feel good and stigma that placement pulled up to this little bakery. In a society creates a group clothes are out of business and I said from a bakery and it cried for. Two or three minutes because it's always it's stupid dumb things just hit you. I came in here did it help one of these shows and it was clean out my mom and that's closets and I thought I'd be able to do that for sure. At least to something here you know productive. And I walked in there and open my mom's. Dresser and the first sure I saw was your blue Jimmy puncher from last year which use it to. The Jimmy Fund and I just. Said OK I'm done here I can't kid do this anymore. I don't know how people do it I know people be doing and there are people in life who have. Way way way way way we're situations and I assume we'll see some of those great people on a few weeks that they had the telethon. I'm in my mom and dad. We're not. Were too young by far but I mean you know I'm not really capable people. You know miles Goldberg one of the greatest scheduler meet a life that's unfair in my dad is sixty human moment 662 young. But they lived good lives. You know they did. But it still weird. It's weird feeling you're always waiting from the Milwaukee and you always leave in the walking around or. It was waiting for him to do something I was waiting for them to call you we are getting ready to call them was running the other day. This happened I don't know ten times in the last eight weeks. I was running the other day and the and stop the success much like your mom today. And took a fallen out of the dumb. You know pat thing there in my arm and and and and and people you know to my password string that outnumber. Us and said. If you didn't that we don't you know. I don't know. Not sure. Much are you ever I'm sure you're never exactly the same. Ever again. It's it's it's a strange feeling not to have parents. And I understand 42 years old unknown child. And their kids people twenty years younger thirty years in an enemy who lose their parents and I get that. I read this book right now it's. On Greek and grieving it's called and it's helpful at times not helpful gets a little. Little too certain sometimes for me. But they do say didn't you you can't do that you can't get carrier group to someone else your grade teacher wrong so I mean I'm try I'm always practicing and maybe I should. But I just feel bad for them. You know I feel bad that they bestow on this it would have a great time period weather's perfect and mean. Did in my control water park today which is probably the worst thing that's gonna happen last seven weeks. Indeed my mom I miss that. I doubt this just watch them swim and run around him they do. And then you're gonna Florida for a couple months in the winter than in the mist that it is content they don't think that's for. They got screen that's all. It does make you wonder nine cent punitive Gary might you know I'm. Now apps in the 3000%. Convinced him to cancer and die in my late fifties early sixties and you do wonder. You know you get sort of these big sweeping arts and mostly in the middle like he'll sleep in this it would my game it's meant leaving a meaningful life it's worth it. Should you issue I do that. She ended this move should try this dramatic thing that traumatic thing and probably take a deep breath and Tamil past you'll be great guests. But right now I'm. Absolutely and in the weeds and tall grass. But I'm. I'm struggle and struggle like I never had before so. I think my guess is they'll probably. Be. Tougher to quit than before more frustrating or something. I I don't know I don't know what happens when men and this stuff happens and you're ready for you know did it intellectually ready for your dad gets diagnosed and September of 2015 and you know he's kept me two years to live your mom gets pancreatic cancer and you think well. You know you hear initially three months six months and see if you're thinking OK you know the math. But it doesn't change it doesn't change when it happens. No matter what it doesn't change. It doesn't change when that happens. In this there's there's there's anger didn't. It is also this weird sense of relief at the same time. On many angry that your relieve the menu over thank you think about. You know I've said fish I've done Matt maybe we shoot them yes sir why didn't we talk about lesser. This was left unresolved. And that's that's about the best she can do this sort of just continues hack your way through the grass. I imagine they'll be light somewhere in the sump pump. McChrystal did today upon because today and tomorrow pardon (%expletive) and then the next they'll be okay for awhile and be sure the human. You've all seen god damn thing over again. And I guess one day you wake up and it's you know seven knives and I think. That's kind of trying to get that and its focus and it's been only been thirteen days. So. It's just weird you know people feel alive. You know there's so changeable in your life and telling my mom and dad live 2000 miles away in the some three times a year talked. Six times a year. You know go visit from weakening we were in their lives every single day with the California for told about five years life. And for the other 37 years. I saw them essentially every single day talked to them every single day more than once over the last couple of years all the time whether it was. You know just chicken dinner on Dana Farber to Mass. General where it's going over. They could sure they were okay and you need this deep back. And that becomes not a second job at sort of part of your life and then all of a sudden one day. You know someone stopped breathing and and then that is totally gone forever forever that that part of your life is just removed and it's this huge part of your life and it's a burden. To some extent that it's over. Gone and you don't know what to do with. The hole that was there that is now there that wasn't there before or you have no idea what to do. And you know he. You have these streams to you know. Three nights ago. With today's tape them doing these things trying to work on Wednesday morning. Three nights ago something in the Monday. I had a stream I was in the car my dad. We're just driving I was driving in its. Shotgun which was. Only the end of my dad drove my dad drove the car when you're in the car my dad my dad drove the car until the last couple of months. You may be years six months we just couldn't. Policy sucks. But mystery I was driving some reason he was next to me it was so clear it's such a normal regular conversation we were just talking about stuff. And it felt. Real when he wasn't sick even in the dream I don't think. We ship basic conversation we had 45 years ago almost frustrating at times because my dad can be frustrating to that was Rios one of 50000 conversations. I woke up. They just it's huge spike Jesus that's that would that didn't happen it's not they'll never have that conversation again. You know one never sit there and watched the Celtics in the Red Sox and patriots golfer. Play golf beginner you know. Whenever people make fun of family members and you know only found fame members anymore. Asking about the show. This of that that's gone and my mom is government. They've just gone these these figures that were everywhere. Are gone. So. It's said to upset in. Heart or my head around that said. Everybody's been fantastic terrific companies and great. Most of my. Friends have been great most of them he's been great. Some of non. The most have I think a lot of people not are not sure really what to say. In some ways. But everyone means well. Now would say one thing I'm not I'm not an expert god knows I don't know (%expletive) about anything else. Some. Let's say this if I didn't know this a couple of years ago either. You're wondering if you should reach out to somebody. Ever in this situation like this reach out as we go to their house. Bother them that you think I've tried two or three times in the cup back to check stock reaching out. The answer I think always is no keep reaching out keep texting you calling. Keep writing letters they may just not want to respond I can tell you from both my parents were. The kind that it's sometimes you just check outs I don't few attention these text and off to a Kong these people back it's tiring it's upsetting. I don't wanna have a conversation. With them when they're so upset takes a lot of energy away from me but they like to hear from people. They liked knowing people care and I understand it's frustrating if you reach other text to a three times him get back. I understand but that doesn't mean you want here. It's just the opposite I think. That's what I would say in some people's stopped doing that and I don't blame them. But it can hurt it's not fair conditions after you reach out to three times in a reach back and then. Then they're upset you it's not fair but it's situations. Such so I swear if ever learning things that just reach out. Because it matters it really does matter. And yet there are people on disappointment for sure. I mean I my mom's brother. I'm tremendously disappointed and I'll never forget you know Stanley were awful. My mom and dad and you know just which essentially ignored them. For the last couple years. For reasons I'll never understand. Ever. And we have an out he added that terrible fight answers my parents house my uncle and I. On Father's Day my mom was upstairs at home hospice essentially dying. Com. Am not happy that we had it but it had to be done. Or things I need to save and the immunity here. And I'm glad I said. I wish it was as he is or was that happen. And yes liver is regret. You know Jerry sits on the knee and had thought that it in the means a lot is that you know. Do one thing I didn't not a perfect person obviously but the one thing I know I did my Brothers did as well and my wife did in in in. And in other members of my family. Is we gave everything we could we dedicated every sexually content there's no regrets on that and we tried as hard as we could. So we're sad and devastated and confused him. Angry about the whole process. But I know. There's no regrets. We spent every second we could. You know we wore selves out and I'm happy to do it I would have done again to be if we had to do over again today. Others didn't in. Democracy shame on amendments their life it's their choice but they're going to have to live within maybe they don't care I guess is they don't care too much they would back like that. So. That's what that say about that. It's a lot is a long way of saying. Do everything and I understand geeky you know if you can't give up your life but it appears that your friend. Or somebody you care about they're going through something like this. The beach. They need all the support they can absolutely all the support. How much more to say other than that I didn't Philip running up a podcast with. I don't know I wanted to talk about it not talk about a more cherry on Monday in when he yours thoughts as well. Picked up. Just a little broken right now that's all and saddened and missed my mom and it's my dad in combat my kids and my. Nieces and nephews they really missed out. He. My dad. Was sort of the dominant figure my life is as a child this young adult than in in in sort of I was always think in the way. It's at Exxon do you try to impress their dads. Him being gone this week so it's a weird weird thing my mom is the opposite. You know you never had a press her she didn't care she just loved him no matter what unconditionally and my dad didn't pitch felt it had to prove something him. I'm mommy didn't you knew she was there issues the good cop bad cop. And I mean people suck the Jimmy Fund last year. On TV should loved achieved was really really excited she's gonna beyond their doctor doctor will open the Jimmy Fund telethon this year. In August obviously it's not going to be the case now which is really looking forward to that. And I'm looking forward to the Jimmy Fund held on to some extent this year of C madam I'm Adam. I've mixed emotions about it just enough mixed emotions carry them time. Port. About doing it the some emotional a couple of days it always is that the key to more so this year but it gets a good thing that's OK. They do great work. Now. It's amazing and I can share my mom lasted sixteen months which is incredible. What's incredible that's incredible you know. I mean we were told three months five months she had her first. Treatment and they just kick the (%expletive) out of her she couldn't get out of bed she could move. She lost. 3035 pounds and three months by eight weeks for everyone's increasing forget you can easily numbers and charts it's 20/20 pounds of what's her tumor grew and spread. In a doctor doctor Murphy said we'll try something else and we sat there thinking with the community at moment she lasted another year. You know went through two treatments and was unbelievably healthy you go to Ireland. With my family my parents which now it's you know the most important. Trip all have to take my life. But they were good for that. And they had. Some good times and that last year and really fought hard. You know chain pancreatic cancers they're not figured it out at all a lot of other cancers they made. Not chronic but they've been able to really extend life pancreatic cancer got nowhere they just can't figure it out. That's sort of ignored because I think people say we just we we can't do we can't we can't be that we can't. Salt it sort move on to something we can't shame. Over the past couple weeks to correct them up has it gotten letters and emails of so many in and I'll get back everybody really will trying to. They're from what I'm amazed only people said to me. In a moment a grim cancer she died six weeks later I dedicate Connecticut street died two months later we heard that and stick it up for the past couple years really. And from lawmakers long she has his move was unbelievable. And she fought hard and. In the shifted it to its attitude to cool. A cruel cruel thing that's all I know meandering line and that's kind of our minds that sit here. On July 5. I'll be back next week ago mcsame do the shows chose to remarkably well. Since I've often harsh Sumatra which uses battery it's one thing else able radio. His we've means this deal ensuring that we do different shows you issues. That station most market it will do some sports colossal joke around a mock the traditional boring sports talk. We leave their people who were with us every day in the note they get together we're not there. And they do the exact kind of show we ma am always interested and fascinated that they know what works doesn't work. We get did you suggest to you they don't care where they're afraid. I guess at some point I'll address that. With those people probably next week. Carla. But anyway out is a lot I doubled so many emails and tweets and stuff and I do appreciate that and indeed you can actually it's not alphabet it's helpful. And you get emails from people whose parents are both died and got a great email from Adam Jones and 95. Really nice really really nice email. Once like better. It meant a lot of people go through what they do and you get lost your own isolationism and you sometimes forget pitchers you're not alone in this. But. It'll be okay. In the BR ranch style. Just hang with me that it's gonna be used in recent days in the army arrive (%expletive) ass hole I'm not one he knew that (%expletive) place. Under the pull my eyeballs on them (%expletive) head. And understand there's a may be a reason why not pass for normal stuff that's all no excuse but that's just rugby. So I've no idea whatsoever beyond it or not I think I'm taping it properly pa. But that's it. You know spend by the Tammy attack in three weeks or so some money and give my best. And and be ready to open I I I guess I can tell you right now I'm no less. Sad some analysts. You know thirteen days ago and seven weeks before that spent two months of the day it's my dad died. Just still processing Madden said the thing that struck him. They go so there it is this is enough about me think I don't know this and prevent kitchen and see if he can make details from a I send us it's confusing news it's it's it's tricky technology. I would venture and I'll be back. Monday's senate picture of the back if not I certainly will be come here for the next few weeks so and then August to be pretty quiet and we Brady go again in September. Jason Walter to part podcast congress wouldn't have pretty good. We saw this stuff lined up as will be podcast will be every other week it would be consistent Vatican prom issue and work hard on that. For sure so that's enough bogey with the curtain and the star Kirk in cal and shall I will talk he said.