Ep. 84 - In Memory of Patricia Minihane 6-22-18

Friday, June 22nd
On the one-year anniversary of her passing, Kirk talks about his mom, Patricia Minihane.

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

All right this episode enough about me is brought to you by my great friends at mills knows you be as comfortable in the stores as UB in the close owns the store minutes distort the curtain Callahan show too short to go you one great summer closed. You can go wedding took in the dress casual by the way business casual Millen sort of go oh you watch him. The take care be 100% you'll look great prices are great the people are great but Hamilton's millones beast or man again throw they sponsor. The you know balmy podcast throw the part of the per gallon shall we love Milton school the buildings. The store format. Hides from actually debuts first broadcast while you worked your another long form sort of podcast project. Over the next couple weeks. Still working on it should be pretty interesting if in win if it is significant wins if it's well. When it comes out. Good soap MacKey taping this before the show on Friday may 22 that is. Just after 5 in the morning. Regular podcast you can sort of stuff before the show. And so my mom died a year ago today me one at least from the fourth. June 20 seconds. One year ago exactly today. Seven weeks after Lehman Brothers and sort remember my dad. Right around his birthday last October that seemed. Like you would be potentially. Difficult to do. With by Brothers right now from my mom. Maybe when him and I don't know if these things seem a little bored tense now October maybe. But anyway I wanted to kind of remember my mom on the year anniversary of or passing. People because. So many people especially recently it's sort of checked in and asked about her and so much are thinking about her. And some people would said he wished they'd been at the funeral of the wake you won here some. Remembrances that were from there the eulogy. I'd done Brothers has done so let me read a little bit of that today at wanna do that my dad's anniversary. Or his birthday. Podcast my Brothers as well become one over the whole history of my dad may be. You guys on here may be don't thank you so I know some people out there are some friends of hers who listen of the won't my dad really liked it so we wanted to do want my mom's so. On the view that today you're just for a few minutes. As as I think about are lie here today and in recently. I'm on all the time really and you know I remember when they've they've both passed ago so many emails some people are so nice and so they. You know help them I guess it is that there their view that their their parents just passed not not just sort of you know. Knowing that that other people go through and obviously they do in mine was a little unusual but. Maybe not I don't know. You do feel differently. When somebody's. Parents paths after years ago on special somebody around your age group wait you mean have gone to the pastor reach out you mean on the in the past. He's just understand it's like anything LC of understanding. So anyway my mom would always say to me specifically that you always one of the letter she says it's for birth every array Miki write me a letter. She was she why he just wanted to be told all the time. But she was loved she was media that way in the wasn't in the badly it was just the way that she was. I never did it I felt bad in them close they came as a eulogy which seemed cool give them or I think you know she user isn't. You know what your pass of religiously Vegas. Worked hard on one for my dad usually Darren broke me off. I was you know I think the merger is sitting here listening since artists union dues. Remember I think you're dead even more than your mom is you know your dad would be judging you refuse sitting especially again. My mom wouldn't matter if students should cry from the start I should've written you know before shattering them when Jews you know a lot of excellent field. But com. Yes so I mean again you know people were listening to the you know lover knew her know that. She's the kind of person who. Always wanted. You'd be happy you know apartment she wasn't happy she was always concerned I mean until the very end she was always concerned about what other people thought. When she was finally done. And decide if you wanna do this last treatment. Mr. well. The fourth or fifth different one. I'm on a pancreatic cancer she was diagnosed February 5 2016. Com. And you know we were told you know few months expect a few months and stage four pancreatic cancer is about the worst one you can get. So greater social for a few months the first few months were horrendous she went through this terrible treatment she needed. And we went to doctor it's it's actually getting worse. So with apple and we said that room thought well we're done here you know this is going to be a few more weeks this is some believe my dad's sitting there he is very sick. And you're thinking what would what is what has happened what has happened that this was going on here. And it's it's. How this happened. And they try to said let's try another treatment and it was a miracle respect I mean considering his disease Sheehan was a miracle. She really was on it for you know the better part of a year in for the better part of that your fellow really really could mean felt unbelievably well. My dad passed and we found that treatment wasn't working anymore. She tries another one and she hated it wasn't the torture stomach it was her legs her legs if you saw her legs you would you'd you would you wouldn't believe it. Purple and peruse and Sophie just lost some weight but to actually pass them sure she was not a hundred pounds. She couldn't walk choose so much pain and you'd medicine my dad was on she felt terrible one. And we were ice talked to were on my starter of the day and night one bios were talked to run on facetime and she looked. My cousin mistake and showed them I should stick to the great. Should terrible. And she says I wanna go in tomorrow until doctoral open it did Dana Farber fees start at Mass. General doctor Murphy who was fantastic and with Dana Farber was doctoral open it was brought a really good also. It just that one until I don't want using Mormon too much pain and she knew by segment that she was done. This is Tuesday night. Of course OK and we went the next day and she sat there and if yours already a lot of pain medications she was sort of in it. But I remember doctor will open talking and in talking about how. You know the rules CL a goes we get there are stands and see that's working in my mom's kind of nodding to also falling asleep and and I knew that she didn't want to do this and I said to doctoral open you know I think my mom's afraid to tell you. That she just wanna do this anymore because she thinks she's gonna disappoint you. And she didn't she started sort crying and doctoral open it was a but a really good doctor are very nice guy it is it is a scientist more about you know what. Numbers guys think. More than Europe. A personalized doctor guess right now what you know. Sort of you know some for the first time sort of crack open a facade and he felt terrible since you've done so much and she did I think. This experimental treatment she'd done. Have been so successful. Before that that I think you know they were they were. They you're the BB PB were they were happy to do but they understood they said okay you mean this is this is its push to make I understand that. And he felt terrible that she was going through this pain and Delmas but she you know that's the way she was just the way she was. And she was going to be went in the car and in broader home and in broader upstairs to room and she never left that room again for a week. Asia who have the army did she died and we were in their for a week sort of DePaul hospice going back and forth and she drifted in and out for the last few days that. That was really a patchy fog so unbelievably well. It's it's incredible she did. I'm just looking at huge year. I wrote you know my mom. And this is true has historically low tolerance for pain. Remember she got braces in the as an adult. Would spend days in bed crying after they were titan that's true I mean it's who. So when she got diagnosed at the stage four pancreatic cancer that was going to be three weeks it should give up and I didn't understand it's my Brothers give him my dad was sick. Given her own you know she just it used to didn't she was not a good patient in the past. So I thought should be you know it was February that she be gone by April would be you know my dad which would be old father to two issue. But it turns out she was the toughest person I've ever met in my life. She never gave up ever. Because some horrible side effects in the first trial which failed her tumor grew if you give up. The average life expectancy for stage four pancreatic cancers or five months. Four of five don't make the year she made it sixteen months. And peace are my dad's wake him some people listening may have. She was incredible full of energy vibrant fighting that's how she wasn't the last couple weeks fighting which is too much of inspirational. I'm so proud of are still and I can't. I cannot believe how large. I mean again mockery too much from the stuff because I think you know it's of the personal funds for people who really were but. You know and and those are listening especially people Nova Scotia you know enable them make it. Relatives from all over the country were able to make it past me in the house request for the Bottke senator. Is her new video bit I've been remiss in doing that. Initiative it's just you know. Not so not so easy to do but budget I guess I'm not gonna spend forty minutes on this has just been thinking about are a lot. Even more than usual the last week or two. You know I feel terrible for people who don't have their parents and now I totally understand and it's sort of embarrassing that the I was a better in the past people's parents died he's analogy she felt bad and you can move on he didn't think there what they were going through but it's. It's crazy you know it's just it's just crazy it's crazy how much you miss them it's crazy and what you think about them. It's crazy notes that you get at random times it's treason even when times are good like yesterday he graduated from grammar school which was awesome. Great to see your shoes beautiful. Proud that she's the greatest coral world in your world in you're so happy for her. But then you see other grandparents there and you think she's mobbed here for short memo so excited to be so happy. And they don't get to see it. And you realize you. There's nothing you can do about it this summit saying if the suck it up and move on even the week before we played a coach Keith softball team won the championship it was awesome it was a great day. In my dad would have been keeping score for the team for sure helping out my mom will be there in on. But she always did. But I wrote in his eulogy. She went to this is true she went to almost. Every game we played in those your football team she never bothered to learn more in the rules and really didn't care who wanted to lost she was happy we were happy and sad for us we lost. If she was really I think one of 54 staff with the countries have produced was amazing watching her on athletic shoeless. He hander golf club to three upside down. You should dribble a basketball courts that you know there's the wrong thing and number she signed up for six tennis lessons I play tennis is kid. If you want to play it. She signed up for six tennis lessons somewhere in the middle eighties. At the indoor courts rated in the that we just Hoover line in the sky are laser. Or instructor nice kid. Are remembered shooting hoops outside real long driveway in this a little car pulling up the driveway. Getting out was Ira. And I'm almost home and he said can you just. Take this in the game to check back my mom gave him he said I can't take it and it was hopeless was able to play tennis. How he felt awfully couldn't take my basic issues so nice. So you know that's a that is true. Com. Yes you know she's she's she loved her friends and trips he took him for years should not go back to Scotia she really didn't eat seaweed and sit around and talk all they were cousins. I know of in this Hershey miss them so much. Of the crime movies. Moved you any movie any movie to a Daniel Steele books would make fun of her. And her role was really in our lives as kids was she was the if you take the bullets as we were terrified my dad my momma take the bullets. You know we would we would dom. Every fall. For 34 years or maybe 56 years. My dad would sit us down. And say. You can watch one TV show and pick up the TV guide you to watch what TV show and I when school starts that's it. So would go through the list that the pick between like you know. Night court cheers or whenever Magnum PI the dukes as having a possible choices for heartbreaking. And we do it my dad would sit there and printed output on the free agency there it is in you check market meanwhile he'd be working like crazy moments at watched TV. 34 showed tonight. And you hear the garage door opener should turn off the TV which sprint up the stairs of the time were going to be. But that's what she did that was her role she was the good cop to back up. You know I had so many friends who said they love my mom amber terrified my dad that was sort of the recurring theme. Of my youth also until a little older I realize my dad I was just trying to do what he thought was best. But that was it I mean my mom. Was the nicest person. I've ever met in my entire life. Literally the nicest person I've ever met in my entirely obviously in enemy. Like area today but she really Wallace. And she was so nice who was a senator from crusader. Pitcher trying to please everybody and please nobody's mom. You know stop just what you are you mad at this person telling me that this person don't tell me mad at him and act like you're nice to. Be honest nights to them. And you get an editor for being so nice I mean it's true. Lou but new issues of greatest she's the best dog ever having your life is the best grandmother. You can ever have and that's what she loves I think the most. Was being Ingraham that was all she wanted Choi great gets she got she got six of them six great ones. I'd start with Kate. And we got the notice redistribute from heat from this is now the portion of the show. By nestled among tremendously my guests for history on on on. My show was when is when I read this because a chance of getting through this is what 0%. Then. Sought pizza dot and we got the call. To go to C city in February 2007. To adopt this little girl who was just a couple days away from being born you know we finally got the call hey let's go. We knew we want to have with us that was my mom. We off the plane all Mogadishu was you know fifty bags full of baby clothes. She's waiting waiting Wayne Graham and it was scary we had a few. Remembered a few times in the process before so. There was a three of us Kristi Meehan my mom sent away from saint Luke's regional medical center in them morning. In earlier in the February 12 we were scarce. My mom was ironically the one who was afraid I think to to try to be comforting sometimes almost did you get battered situation like that it's a real deal. But she was she kept saying don't worry it's going to be all right. Review where you're you're going the other she's she's going to be yours. And afternoon and there's broader route and that was it Pugh was r.s three of Helder cried and could believe a perfect. She was it was. It remains to this moment as much as I love married and I do have harassment of cute Thai. The moment when the nurse handed key to us. Remains the greatest moment of my life it'll always be the greatest moment life. Am I moment right there for. So Iowa has you know adoption laws. 21 of them is a wise I don't know this. Or the parents the adoptive parents are allowed in the nursery. And we were allowed fifty in a room for the first 48 hours which is I think reasonable law you don't you know you just. The birth mother who is great gave birth mothers fantastic. But she was trying to figure oh. You know she was doing her thing when Jews with Kate Jerusalem hospital and it was not awkward because of how wonderful she is and their families but it was can be short awkward situation we were lucky it's not frost. My mom after the first encounter with Kate or she wanted to do is OK let's hear could touch her for two days torture for her. Perfect for me of course at that picture of their face pressed against the wall trying to get the relation to the one dale. Joseph hospital we have spent a couple of for the best western in Sioux City had to stay in the state for a couple of weeks. And she was my mobsters curled you know when he became. Great friends best friends. For taller on the world drawing together watching movies. Cooking goofing around I mean they became they had despondent and even one moment sic at them on and I think you know. Probably bruised you know to support a visa was for K I'm on. The week. Cosmos was Michael hall and even radio show but it's pretty emotional. Anyway. I think it's a definition of fair and what's yours. Things in life a lot more cruel people who died much of a moment sixties. And occupation. It's the rule. The other grandkids the other five including apps legal memories of other pictures of these but it went real tangible memories of this person. We should have been their until her eighties and watch them go and graduate high school college get married maybe have kids of their own. And I was yanked away that's literally all she wanted she was so happy she was all set for the last. You know. Twenty years of life 25 years of lightly he thought it was good for me to great music and take my trips we can do this we can do that. On snatched away and that's what hurt most LQ Wednesday that day it's that's what are the most. I think the people you know when I was in the wake earlier this week for cousin my mom very nice guy. Who are fortunate passed in people's summit the mr. Obama throughout the patsy fewest all the people in Nova Scotia pat sees who she was two were friends from high school which she was apaches who she was Stewart. To a mom and her dad. Bottom. How much they mr. how much louder and choose system a great wonderful person. And and she's missed terribly and I just wanted to pick a boards used again if you. To get a chance to the eulogy in the good wanted to hear does is basically for you guys so. That was it I'm not gonna go into some thoughts I don't really happening right now. It. Just that you know. She's the best the absolute best. This mom passed grandmother I think a great friend. And I would say what I said a year ago I would say. We have said in the years since two people talk about this is I would say. Always reach ago. The one thing that really hurt her was his pew would do it and I had. Storm usually telling the story about running and we just one day and and the gentleman pulled me over. Walking past me and saying how much my momma did with secretary called an escrow account for a while Manchester and you said his wife have been sickened now my mom reached out. Brought food over how much that meant now thirty was to see that she was accused senior downtown. Security that are lost her hair and she lost some weight just felt terrible wonderful person she was like a lot. My mom was somebody who would reach out she was aware of his district added some sick. And she'd she'd been in all losses with him she'd seen him I don't know maybe just issues great person. On if you think. You should reach out should reach out. And if you reach a widget forcing don't respond reach out again they can be angry they can be sick they could forgot. This is the mind it's so (%expletive) up in the process keep preaching you know if you're close to them. And you don't reach out it's devastating to the people who were sick absolutely devastating to people are moms like push doctors close to who went away. Just checked out she didn't. He'll start with the brother who's just absolutely terrific during the whole process and still mystifying me a year later and trying to get past the reason be angry more I just hate the guy. I get a move on but that's that's what that's the one thing having have learned is try to just whoever the (%expletive) you want now. To managers is he the chips Tuesday I told them and I that's why I think now I mean it there's there's there's no reason not to do you just have no regrets just do whatever you want. And if people in your life for sick be there for them notes and be either every hour every day. Do the best you can don't don't blow them off for weeks at a time and then to shore up. In back securities can talk yourself. You know here checking in be be president that's my mom did. And an issues really disappointed and and some people she thought reference. That's all. But you know. Just a you know what we're PS I'm Obama among three or four years ago it's issues really nice person. Glover should agree moms are great grandmother. Which is not a fighter and now I think about it the first thing I think she's a fighter she thought she never gave up. So that's all if people were listening you know. Never newer than you may not patients podcast if you Newark you probably are. Just think of are a lot to the Antonio. Read the girl and you show that your but that's so that's my mom died one year ago today I June 22 2000 service. For shipment. Here's the past art will be it will be back. I think the next few weeks this long form podcasts are working on I hope although you know who knows these corporate people toward spite of which got him. But today.